Ricardo Marquez- 2009 Vans Warped Tour Pit Reporter (Well trying to become one)

So I just Filled out (very quickly and not so pretty might I add) my application and video audition to be the new Pit Reporter for the Vans Warped Tour. First off, I’m going up against 250 applicants. The question of “Do you feel like you have an honest shot at this?” and I’m going to go out there and say, probably not. However, a guy can dream right? Most of my inner self is telling me “Dude, does a bear shit in the woods? You got this.” So that gives me some hope. Well in light of my audition and the 15th year of Warped, I decided to let anyone who reads this as well as the people who are deciding who becomes the next reporter (since they should be checking my site out) 15 fun facts about me. Hopefully the Warped Tour peeps will enjoy this somewhat…

1. I almost killed Bob Barker with a monstrous Hi-Five while on stage during my 15 minutes of fame on The Price is Right. I immediately saved his life by pulling out and doing the robot. Yes, there is footage of this floating around out there.

2. Stevie Wonder actually came to perform a private concert in my second grade class. I didn’t know who he was at the time, but I remember bragging to everyone about what just happen. Pictures are being sold to TMZ as we speak.

3. I love my 15 minutes of fame. I’m actually an internet International sensation. A few years ago I spotted a Spanish news anchor doing a live report at Universal City Walk in Hollywood, CA. Like the idiot in me, I decided to do the robot (it’s really all I got) and start popping my head like a gopher around the crowd.

4. I have crowd surfed only once in my life and that was during the 2008 Vans Warped Tour during an Every Time I Die set. It took about 6 guys to get me up. I then proceeded to crush 3 girls. I still made it over the barrier.

5. I have done a stand up set in front of some well known celebrities and my favorite comedian of all time, Mel Brooks. I cried like I just watched the Notebook when I met him.

6. I have beat Super Mario Bros 1 on Nintendo in 5 Minutes. Thrilling, I know.

7. Heidi Klum and I have a pretty serious connection. Well, I’d like to think so but I was on a photo-shoot with her and did make her laugh as well as Marissa Miller. Great Times

8. A local radio station, KROQ 106.7, actually spent 20 minutes talking to me about how much I hate tip jars. I was so awesome, they decided to have me take on callers in which I did so comically

9. I’ve actually scared the big scary mutant guy on The Hills Have Eyes at a small event. Of course it was the actor, not the actual mutant. I’m sure I’d crap my pants if I saw that.

10. I have not been scared of a horror movie since I was 5. I’m un-scareable. Is that a word?

11. I have met all 104 of my Myspace friends at least twice in my life. Even my friend in Kentucky.

12. I’ve been to more states in the Country of Mexico than I have in the United States. This is actually kind of sad. I have family all over central Mexico

13. I’m pretty sure I have a membership to almost every social networking site known to man.

14. I actually hate using public bathrooms. Which I’m sure if I do end up getting this Pit Reporter job then I’ll get over that real quick.

15. I completely switched my education path. In turn, I have to start my entire college education over. Went from being a Doctor, to writing about one. I’m a Creative English Writing major. Trying to be a screenwriter.

Well, that was a little hard to do. Hopefully this somehow impresses them and shows them that I at least have personality. Then again, that’s usually what ugly people say. Personality is all I got. Til next time.

Xoxo
-Ricky

Clams Have Feelings Too

Elllo Ello everyone. So the video I was going to put up doesn’t seem to be working right. Which is a bust because I have my buddy Mark jumping off a balcony from the cabin we were in with an American Flag. So Valentine’s Day is around the corner and boy is it funny to see everyone to see everyone freak out. I’m a little glad I’m single this Valentine’s because I don’t have to buy chocolates, flowers, or even an abortion. It definitely brings a damper to the wallet. I know a few people have asked me recently what I think about V-Day and personally I don’t really like it. Not because I’m single or can’t find a date, far from that, but because it’s kind of a retarded day. I mean, if you’re in a relationship, you should show them every single day that you either like them, care for them, or even love them. You shouldn’t just do it because one day out of the year tells you that you need to buy them all the jewelry in the world to show them you care. You should do it because it’s been 4 months since you got laid. Wait, what?
So with all this Valentine hoopla going around, I was talking to a very dramatic friend of mine and was discussing deal breakers. Deal breakers as in date breakers. For instance, with myself, I can’t date a girl who isn’t into baseball. At first it was they HAVE to be an Angel Fan but then I started thinking that is a little harsh. So in turn, if I date anyone they HAVE to be into baseball somewhat. It scores them points if they are an Angel fan and I subtract points if they are a Red Sox, Yankee, or even a Dodger fan (even though the Dodgers are in a completely different league then the Angels). Now, when I mean fan, I mean like the hardcore Sweet Caroline Sox Fans or the “I’m a Yank til the day I die” fans. Now, as I’m telling my friend this, she’s telling me that I’m harsh that I drop girls who aren’t baseball fans. So here’s my reasoning. Baseball season is about 6 months, 7 if the team makes it to the playoffs. I go to games as often as I can. Now, if I date someone who isn’t remotely into baseball or doesn’t like being around crowds or gets embarrassed easy, that’s 6-7 months of potential fights. Now ask me why. Why? Here’s why. I’m going to get the whole “How come you don’t pay attention to me as much as the Angels? Why don’t we ever do anything else? Why are you so loud at games? Put your clothes on and don’t streak.” That’s why. It’s going to happen if someone isn’t into baseball or anything in general. I don’t mean to toot my own horn but I’m fascinated by every little thing so if you want to go somewhere where you think I don’t want to, chances are I will want to. Except going to Dodger stadium; unless they’re playing the Angels or D-Backs. Or unless the girl I’m dating is ridiculous hot or cool. Then I’ll go. Point is, you kind of have to date people who have the same interests. If you aren’t a social person, then you best date someone who likes staying in or making fun of people when you do go out. If you like being physically fit you better date someone who is willing to either get back in shape or runs more than you do. Relationships are a whole lot better when you both share a certain passion to anything like dead baby jokes or pulling pranks on your friends when they’re trashed. I know a guy who won’t date any girl who has weird hands. I know a girl who won’t date a guy if his armpit hairs pass a certain length. We all have our deal breakers as retarded as they are, so what’s yours? And now, enjoy the song of the week…

A little lazy lately...

I was going to write another blog but I decided I'm just going to do a video blog or VLOG for you nerds out there, come Sunday or Monday (Depending how bad my hangover is.). This weekend, if we make it because of the rain, I'm heading up to a cabin up in Lake Arrowhead with 24 of my closet friends. What's going to happen up there? A lot of drinking, practical jokes, hopefully a snowball fight or two, and some more drinking. I'm taking the video camera up there so maybe I can somehow make a video for the trip. Bad part is, we leave tomorrow night at 7 or 8, which isn't the safest thing to do. I'm pretty sure I won't make it home alive. Anygay, nothing really new or exciting on my end. I'm currently still writing my first script and it's coming out great. I've had a few people read it and it seems to be a hit, which is extremelly surprising to me. Well, I'll write more come Sunday. Hopefully something up in the cabin will inspire me to write something remotely funny. But for now, I gotta find out more about this Stripper that was attacked and burned alive in this Strip Club in LA. Crazy.