So I'm not a perv and here's why....

What's going on everyone? Damn, it's been a month already. I've been kinda M.I.A due to me trying to get this Dodgeball and stuff with my daytime job going. When I say MIA, I mean Missing in Action. I don't mean I've been rapping about smoking weed and bones or having gigs at the Crazy Horse off the 10 Fwy. Anygay, I think I had a pretty great morning. The local radio station KROQ had their 2nd annual Ms. Double D-Cember pageant to determine who was going to be the next Ms. Double D for the year. Basically it's a contest where busty women from all walks of life audition to be a model for the station and get to go to all the Kevin and Bean parties and KROQ concerts they want. So all you ladies with the mosquito bites, I'm sorry but you might want to stay away from the stage. Unless you're into boobs, then by all means come along. So I go to the Slidebar Cafe (Which is probably one of the best local bars in the area. The guys from the band Lit own it. You know, the guys who sing that one song with that guitar riff that everyone knows and sing about being drunk and whatever. I don't know, Google it.) and am just amazed at how many other guys where there so early in the morning. At first I thought it was weird but then I remembered we were all there for one reason, free food and boobs. So the show goes live and we're having fun. Everyone is yelling out anything you can think of at the DJ's and the girls and just enjoying it. Then, I get the text from a friend of mine. We text while I'm watching these girls are showcasing their amazing talents and then I get "You're a pervert". It hurt at first. My buddy Sean looked over and gave me this concerned nod. The one you give your friends when you know they're about to throw up at a party. So I show Sean the text and he looks straight into my eyes and I know what he's thinking. He's telling me "Rick, you gotta tell her what's up" so I did. Ladies...looking at women is not considered perverted. Perverted to me is purposely knowing that your neighbor is about to change, so you put on a black jacket, run outside, wobble to the window and peep through the blinds. A pervert to me are hispanic males (yes, my brotheren) whistling and yelping at you women who walk by them and hungrily eye raping them when you don't want anything to do with them. Yes, I know rape is a strong word but when you girls complain about that look they give you, you act like you were just raped. You don't understand the essence of boobs. This show wasn't about getting a bunch of "perverts" together to stare at these girls while they were parading around their bikinis (good God I love this country). No, it was about the comradery of men (and the very few women that were there. God bless all those girls who came out to it.)and letting us rejoice at being an American. Can you imagine a world without boobs? Seriously...take like a minute and close your eyes and imagine a world without Hooter Girls, Strip Clubs, and Hookers. Do you see the chaos? If not, let me paint the picture. Crime would go up. Wars would be start without passing it through Congress. Women would get beat more and more. Do you want women to get beat? I certainly don't. I love you women. I look at boobs for you. We go to war to protect our rights as Americans to look at you beautiful women. That isn't perverted. That's Patriotic. What? You don't get how women would get beat if boobs weren't around? Here's how. A husband and his wife are fighting. They argue and argue and argue until the Man gets extremely upset. If there weren't strip clubs, guys would go out to a bar instead and just get hammered. This in turn would fill them with rage, go back home, and beat their spouse. Thankfully for strip clubs they can go there and bask in the gloryness of other ladies willing to show us their God given figure (or the gloryness of work that plastic surgeon did on Misty that's working that pole) and take a breather, go back home and give their wives the sweet loving we all want and need. So am I a pervert? Not at al. I'm an American. If you wanna call me a pervert for looking at girls willingly participating in this event, that's fine go right ahead. But I'm not the one supporting terrorism.

Peace, Love, and Boobs,
-Ricky