Seriously, this site still works?

Happy New Year out there. It's been a while since I've written anything on this shiznet. Yes, Shiznet is coming back in '09. I don't know what your New Years Eve consisted of but I'm pretty sure it was like mine; spending all night with a few close friends and strangers asking random questions, getting hammered, and trying to somehow get the jello shot out of a plastic shot glass that would break as quick as an emo kid's heart when someone tells them Garden State was meh. I swear to God, plastic anything should not be at any type of party. I'm not talking about those Plastic Red Cups, those are a clue of a party is being thrown. Go to any Supermarket and get any number of Plastic Red Cups and I guarentee the cashier or the bagger is gonna say "So um...having a few friends over". If you don't believe me, go out and try it. Again, no plastic at parties. We had these plastic shot glasses like I said with Jello in them. Now, Jello shots can be taken one of two ways. One, you can get all sensual with it and very sexually slip your tongue into the cup, and just slurp it up like you're about to be in any pivitol money shot scene in a porn. Then there's the later choice, in which usually the guys go for, which is just getting the bottom of the cup and pushing the Jello in an upward motion. You can't do that with a plastic cup. Trust me, I saw my buddy Jody try it and literally conduct a tracheotomy while trying to get a buzz going with his Jello shot. Plastic Glass shards everywhere. To top it off, the Jello shots were this deep red color obviously resembling blood so as I'm trying to talk to someone, I start screaming thinking it's blood. Once I stopped crying the party went on. I know some of you are thinking that I just cock-blocked myself and no my friends I did not. Yeah, I know I cried but I pulled the sensitive card. Girls love that.

This whole week I've been getting the whole "So what's your New Years Resolution" "Hey, what do you plan on doing this year.". It's always the same stuff with everyone. Lose weight, make new friends, find a significant other. Stuff people never really follow through with. Which is why I'm going to say stuff that I know will not happen but when it doesn't, everyone won't be giving me shit for it. My New Years resolution's are to have a threesome, get on TV some how, and to punch a Rhino. Seriously. A rhino. The nearest Rhino is like 5,000 miles away in like Africa. Me punching a Rhino isn't going to happen. So when next year comes around and everyone asks me if I completed my resolutions, they won't be so appalled that I couldn't punch a Rhino. They would actually be angry if I did punch a Rhino. Hell, the Rhino would be angry if I punched it. Anyhizzle, Good luck in the New Year everyone and make sure to make the best of it. Go out and start punching Rhinos.

-Ricky