Clams Have Feelings Too

Elllo Ello everyone. So the video I was going to put up doesn’t seem to be working right. Which is a bust because I have my buddy Mark jumping off a balcony from the cabin we were in with an American Flag. So Valentine’s Day is around the corner and boy is it funny to see everyone to see everyone freak out. I’m a little glad I’m single this Valentine’s because I don’t have to buy chocolates, flowers, or even an abortion. It definitely brings a damper to the wallet. I know a few people have asked me recently what I think about V-Day and personally I don’t really like it. Not because I’m single or can’t find a date, far from that, but because it’s kind of a retarded day. I mean, if you’re in a relationship, you should show them every single day that you either like them, care for them, or even love them. You shouldn’t just do it because one day out of the year tells you that you need to buy them all the jewelry in the world to show them you care. You should do it because it’s been 4 months since you got laid. Wait, what?
So with all this Valentine hoopla going around, I was talking to a very dramatic friend of mine and was discussing deal breakers. Deal breakers as in date breakers. For instance, with myself, I can’t date a girl who isn’t into baseball. At first it was they HAVE to be an Angel Fan but then I started thinking that is a little harsh. So in turn, if I date anyone they HAVE to be into baseball somewhat. It scores them points if they are an Angel fan and I subtract points if they are a Red Sox, Yankee, or even a Dodger fan (even though the Dodgers are in a completely different league then the Angels). Now, when I mean fan, I mean like the hardcore Sweet Caroline Sox Fans or the “I’m a Yank til the day I die” fans. Now, as I’m telling my friend this, she’s telling me that I’m harsh that I drop girls who aren’t baseball fans. So here’s my reasoning. Baseball season is about 6 months, 7 if the team makes it to the playoffs. I go to games as often as I can. Now, if I date someone who isn’t remotely into baseball or doesn’t like being around crowds or gets embarrassed easy, that’s 6-7 months of potential fights. Now ask me why. Why? Here’s why. I’m going to get the whole “How come you don’t pay attention to me as much as the Angels? Why don’t we ever do anything else? Why are you so loud at games? Put your clothes on and don’t streak.” That’s why. It’s going to happen if someone isn’t into baseball or anything in general. I don’t mean to toot my own horn but I’m fascinated by every little thing so if you want to go somewhere where you think I don’t want to, chances are I will want to. Except going to Dodger stadium; unless they’re playing the Angels or D-Backs. Or unless the girl I’m dating is ridiculous hot or cool. Then I’ll go. Point is, you kind of have to date people who have the same interests. If you aren’t a social person, then you best date someone who likes staying in or making fun of people when you do go out. If you like being physically fit you better date someone who is willing to either get back in shape or runs more than you do. Relationships are a whole lot better when you both share a certain passion to anything like dead baby jokes or pulling pranks on your friends when they’re trashed. I know a guy who won’t date any girl who has weird hands. I know a girl who won’t date a guy if his armpit hairs pass a certain length. We all have our deal breakers as retarded as they are, so what’s yours? And now, enjoy the song of the week…