If I only had a vagina...

then it would complete the experiance I'm going through right now. Before you ask yourself "is Ricky smokin the meat pole", the answer is no. Work has been pretty crazy and I've gone from a Hospital Manager to an Administrative Assistant aka Sexy Secretary. Step One in Ricky becoming a chick. After all this politics at the work place, I can now say I know what you girls feel like when you wait those dreaded 2 minutes to find out if you're knocked up or not. I'm waiting to see if I'm going to be having a job after tomorow or not. It's pretty ridiculous because corporate and my Director (the person I'm secretarying [is that a word?] for) says yes they want me but this District Manager is telling them no. I think it's because he's sexist. "But Ricky, you have an 11incher around" I know ladies I know but the thing is I'm turning into a chick. A big dyky one at that. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I've notice some things about girls and it's that the majority of the time, they love to get ready with one another and in the younger stages of woman-hood you dress up like one another. Let me paint this picture for you. I get to work at 8 in the morning today and I noticed that I didn't put gel, thanks to a female co-worker in the office. She gives me some weird gel I've never heard of and gives me a compact. I put the gel on and she starts giving hair tips and honestly listen to her and we start touching up my air. That's when it hit me. I'm a chick. On top of that, my boss walks in (she's a powerful women mind you) and she's wearing this like Jackie Kennedy type yellow jacket. Next thing I know I hear "Very nice shirt Ricardo where did you get it" and I tell her "Oh at Macys it was on sale." then the worst thing happened. One of the guy supervisors comes in and says "Hey Ricardo, did you call Ellen to make sure you two matched?" and I look down and remember...I'm wearing a nice yellow shirt. Then only thing left is my vagina. I need to do something manly now like watch MMA or...wait...F that. MMA is a bunch of guys rolling around half naked in a ring. I think that would further prove my gayness. Not that it's gay to watch it. Don't get me wrong. People who actually know what MMA is about and watches it for the competitivness and not cause some YouTube sensation is on the bill "fighting" are cool. (Sean don't hurt me. Nor you too Mark. You guys aren't gay. Jody is.) I think me being in the position I'm at watching MMA wouldn't help my cause. I think I need to watch porn. But lesbian porn. Or would that just make me gay anyways cause I'm turning into a chick so it would make me gay if I liked women too. Jesus Christ my head is hurting from all this thinking. Oh no...I'm getting a cramp..