Alright...I don't know what the hell was up with people last night. This whole Batman fiasco, a little outta control. I get an e-mail from my buddy Dave saying "Hey I scored tickets to Batman. Let's go." so I go along...we get to the line and this is what we see...
Obviously we knew there would be a line. This chick was paiting the Jokers face on this guy while in line. It was pretty gay. Funny thing was, he wore a Batman shirt while dressed as the Joker. I don't get it. So we grab a beer, wait some more, crack some jokes, and they let us in about 11:15. As we are in the theater, it's a madhouse. Everyone is running and screaming like idiots. Then I have the bright idea to play Marco Polo. We do about 5 minutes of it and we yell out other things. I hear some guy say "It's too dark in here" and I yell out "That's what she said!" and we all laugh, oh do we laugh. Low and behold, two guys start to fight in the front of the theater, well argue. Everyone yells to knock it off but I yell punch him. Dave is laughing at me and some girl next to him is shocked with what's going on. I started yelling "FIGHT!" kinda like in Middle school. Next thing I know...you hear zapping come then the hall. It's hard to explain. Imagine plugging something into the outlet and you get that little electric shock and that "Zeeepppp" noise that comes with the shock, now times that by 20 and you have what I'm hearing. Next thing you know, the theater manager pops up with a tazer. Not just any old tazer, it looks like an effin cattle prod. The one the dude from No Country for Old Men had, it's wicked. Everyone screams more and she's yelling at them to knock it off or they're gonna get tazed. The row in front of us pretty much adopted Dave and I and we all start yelling shit. I didn't hear it yet so I kept yelling out "Don't TAZE ME BRO! DON'T TAZE ME!" and it gets even more insane. One of the guys yells at the managers face saying "I want my money back" and she says "Here's your money" and tazes this guy. Ladies and Gentleman, I finally witnessed someone getting tazed. Honestly, it is probably the FUNNIEST thing you'll ever see. You can only dream of situations like this. I'm praying to God someone got their camera phone out and puts it on YouTube. When you hear the shock and witness a 300+ pound guy go down, it's all you dream about. The dude dropped like Heath Ledger after he took those numerous amount of pills. It was insane. Afterwards the theater kinda quite down and the movie started. As the movie is about to start, the same manager who tazed some guy comes walking down the aisle, telling us to turn our cell phones and this dude in front of us yells at the guy next to him in front of her saying "She'll fuckin taze you dude she's legit". Then the movie starts. I can sit here and tell you how good the movie was, but there's a ton of other reviews out there. I just wanted to review my viewing of the greatest taze of all time. I think everyone should go out and buy a tazer and just start tazing everyone for no apparent reason.
Obviously we knew there would be a line. This chick was paiting the Jokers face on this guy while in line. It was pretty gay. Funny thing was, he wore a Batman shirt while dressed as the Joker. I don't get it. So we grab a beer, wait some more, crack some jokes, and they let us in about 11:15. As we are in the theater, it's a madhouse. Everyone is running and screaming like idiots. Then I have the bright idea to play Marco Polo. We do about 5 minutes of it and we yell out other things. I hear some guy say "It's too dark in here" and I yell out "That's what she said!" and we all laugh, oh do we laugh. Low and behold, two guys start to fight in the front of the theater, well argue. Everyone yells to knock it off but I yell punch him. Dave is laughing at me and some girl next to him is shocked with what's going on. I started yelling "FIGHT!" kinda like in Middle school. Next thing I know...you hear zapping come then the hall. It's hard to explain. Imagine plugging something into the outlet and you get that little electric shock and that "Zeeepppp" noise that comes with the shock, now times that by 20 and you have what I'm hearing. Next thing you know, the theater manager pops up with a tazer. Not just any old tazer, it looks like an effin cattle prod. The one the dude from No Country for Old Men had, it's wicked. Everyone screams more and she's yelling at them to knock it off or they're gonna get tazed. The row in front of us pretty much adopted Dave and I and we all start yelling shit. I didn't hear it yet so I kept yelling out "Don't TAZE ME BRO! DON'T TAZE ME!" and it gets even more insane. One of the guys yells at the managers face saying "I want my money back" and she says "Here's your money" and tazes this guy. Ladies and Gentleman, I finally witnessed someone getting tazed. Honestly, it is probably the FUNNIEST thing you'll ever see. You can only dream of situations like this. I'm praying to God someone got their camera phone out and puts it on YouTube. When you hear the shock and witness a 300+ pound guy go down, it's all you dream about. The dude dropped like Heath Ledger after he took those numerous amount of pills. It was insane. Afterwards the theater kinda quite down and the movie started. As the movie is about to start, the same manager who tazed some guy comes walking down the aisle, telling us to turn our cell phones and this dude in front of us yells at the guy next to him in front of her saying "She'll fuckin taze you dude she's legit". Then the movie starts. I can sit here and tell you how good the movie was, but there's a ton of other reviews out there. I just wanted to review my viewing of the greatest taze of all time. I think everyone should go out and buy a tazer and just start tazing everyone for no apparent reason. 
19 comments:
No way this happened...there is no way you actually saw this. I'm calling your bluff. That had to be the funniest thing to see. I can just see you being a loud ass too in there hahaha. That's awesome.
Thanks, I'm at work and I got in trouble for reading this. I got caught laughing hysterically. Nice "Perez-esque" doodling. Really cute of you.
"...the dude dropped like Heath Ledger..." HAHahAHA oh my god dude you are going to hell. Poor guy is dead, leave him alone! But nice to put that in there, pretty funny.
Someone was tazed? Where'd you see this movie? In the ghetto or what?
Did you play Goldfish in line? So how many f-in nerds where playing PSP and watching Batman Begins to catch up with the movie? Cause we had like a million in our line. Literally a million.
ohhh that puente hillss theater..have they no shameee lol
lmfao. tazed?! i swear were still laughing about the the whipping thing. hahaha taze.
Who the fuck tazes people? Ha, ghetto Puente Hills...
Please tell me that this was at the puente hills theater.If I imagine the tazed guy in your story as asian, I will laugh so much harder.
just think about if the kid from indiana jones got tazed.
"no, don't taze me dr.jones!"
Why didn't you record it on your cool iPhone...oh wait...there's no video recorder....
The only exciting thing that happened with my Batman experience was a eery Heath Ledger/Joker look-a-like who sulked up and down the line outside. Way creepy!! It was no tasing though. You lucky son of a bitch!!! Next time, i say you get yourself tased so you can blog and tell us all about it!
Oh my god I agree with Kristin...please get tazed. Like jackass. put it on tape. hahaha
You're a fucking douche bag you and your faggot friends would find this funny you gay homo. You're stupid and fat and ugly you purple mother fucker.
Calm down Dave, you were right there next to me laughing. No one else would use the purple thing but you. So way to be anonymous hahaha
I wish I saw someone get tazed. All I saw where people dressed up like Batman and Joker doing stupid fight scenes and trying to be cool. One guy actually got punched and started to cry and got all pissed that his friend really punched him. haha
Your mom is really upset Ricky...I wouldn't go home if I were you... ;)
I like turtles!
o it wasnt bluff i was there. after i saw someone get taze, a tear of joy ran down my face. (seats taken BRO)
i now believe this story is real. my brothers friend was at that theater and he told him the story. lmao.. small fucking world. i swear.
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