Cowmanhat...

I’m thoroughly convinced that there is a greater evil in this world other than terrorism. Honestly. No, this isn’t a political post but something needs to change. A lot of us have a ton of different options to do to pass our free time. Whether it be picking up a new hobby, reading that book you bought in front of someone you liked so you would look a whole lot smarter, or even typing in words in the web address bar and adding .com to see what pops up. You’d be blow away at what you’ll find. But there’s something that a ton of people decide to do together to pass time and that is playing board games. Big mistake. Board games are ridiculous. They literally can determine who will walk out of that room either happy, sad, pissed off, or retarded. Case in point, last night. I went over to my buddy Jody’s to play a game of Pictionary. We got our teams and the game was on…I was teamed up with another friend Sean (Who happens to know every f-in pointless trivia question ever. Which is ridiculously awesome). We roll first and Sean decides to draw. I don’t blame him because I’m the worst drawer ever. Actually, first off, this is where everything goes wrong. Being the first person in any game is probably the worst feeling in the world. Worse than knowing you’re late to something so you try and rush but you keep getting every red light known to man. Going first determines how you’re going to be for the rest of the game. If you get it right, you intimidate everyone around that table. If you get it wrong, well, you look like an ass. So Sean looks at his card and immediately says “Oh we got this one”. It was comforting. Unfortunately, I’m an idiot. Everyone knows it. He starts his drawing and this is what he gets… Once I see the cow, I say cow like a million times, mind you I only have 30 seconds to decide what he’s trying to draw. I’m sure most of you who will read this will probably get what Sean was trying to draw. I kept yelling out Cow….then Cow Man….then Hat. So what do I decide to do? I decide to say cowmanhat in like 21 possible ways. CowMANhat. COWmanHat? CowmanHAT? COWMANHAT! Like that’s going to make him all of a sudden say “Oh yeah that’s it. The 21st version you said it was right on the money” Needless to say, I felt like an idiot. It doesn’t help when I have the other four saying “Oh dude I got it” “If you don’t get this you’re retarded” “Ricky I have a homosexual love for you”. When the final sand fell in the timer, you can just see Sean laughing at me and they all say “It was cowboy hat dude” then laugh. I was belittled by my very friends. It sucks because I honestly thought that if I said Cowmanhat like a million times, eventually I would get it right. The game progresses and it’s my turn to draw. The first half of the game was basically me making an ass out of myself. I was disqualified in every possible way you could get dq’d on. I drew numbers, I drew letters on a keyboard, I said “Um, I don’t think I can draw phrases”. Eventually I started getting the hang of the game and I was drawing masterpieces like this one…We lost because Jody and Mark cheated throughout the entire game…actually they came from behind. I honestly thought Katie and David were going to go all the way because Katie would draw a line and David would automatically get it right. But this is the part I love about Pictionary, you can draw 18 versions of an item, and your partner will say every single word other than the most obvious. I was drawn an American Flag and I think I said everything but America. David fell to the same trap when Katie drew a hat and David was yelling out "Cap, Tophat, hoodie, baseball hat". Pictionary…worse than a Ouija Board. And don’t get me started on Monopoly. That is a trainwreck from the beginning. Everyone fights to be the little car or the dog and then Grandma’s get punched when they start taking money from the bank when everyone argues if the Free Parking decal is a telephone or a 1930’s style car. Why the hell would a phone be in a free parking spot? Come on…

-Ricky