Olympics...don't believe the hype

So the 2008 Olympics are coming up and honestly, who cares. Some Russian is going to beat us at gymnastics, an Austrian is going to beat us at Greco Roman Wrestling, and we might get a shot at winning the gold in Basketball with our new “Dream Team”. Then again, its leader is a guy who sucked horribly at the NBA finals so who knows right? And yes, “I’m hatin”. When I found out Kobe really didn’t jump that pool with Party Boy and dunk, I was devastated. Did he really chest bump Wee-Man or was that fake too? Anygay, the only thing that the Olympics really bring out in anyone is the spirit of competition. Ah yes, the American Way. To try and be better than your fellow man at throwing a solid steel ball, or wrestling another man to the floor. I know some of those guys enjoy having a grown man squirm underneath them. It’s kinda gay to me but whatever. I think my brother and I are probably the most competitive people I know. We are constantly trying to out do each other with whatever it is, whether it be who can Wii Box better or make the biggest splash with a belly flop. We were pretty bad as kids. My brother introduced me to the “Penis Game”. It’s pretty much the most retarded game in the world. You basically try to see who can say “Penis” louder. We used to do it all the time when we were kids. We’d be at Toys R Us and my brother would look over and mouth “Penis”. I would be at the ball pit at McDonalds and I would dive in yelling “Peniss!!!” One day we were with my mom at church. For some reason, I had this weird feeling that someone was staring at me. You know that feeling. It’s uneasy. So I looked to my left and my brother had this look, like he was eye fucking me the word “Penis”. So during one of the chants of AAAAAAAAMEEEEEENNNNNN he yelled out PEEEEEEEEEENNNIIISSSS. I wasn’t having any of it. Not here, not now. I couldn’t let my winning streak end at the house of God. So when it was time to chant again, I kinda timed it wrong and belted out “Penis!” and it wasn’t like the quick little blurp, it echoed throughout the church. All you hear is “Penis is is is is isi s is issss”. Everyone turned around at me and just started staring; immediately excommunicating me from the church. My mom had this look of disgust and disowned me right then an there. So we go up and stand in line to get “the body of Christ”. Everyone knows that Catholic tradition of eating Rice Paper that is supposed to be Jesus. It’s my turn and I look at the Priest and he winks at me…then whispers “Penis” to me…and that’s how I lost my virginity…
Moral of the Story, don’t live up to the hype of all this “competitive” nature the Olympics is trying to do. You might end up sore and writing a blog about being rufied.